Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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