Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
