I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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