I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize