She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
