They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
