How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
