im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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