I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
