I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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