You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
