No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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