your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
