I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
