so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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