She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize