Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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