HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
