i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
