I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
