Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
