I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
