the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
