When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
