evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
