I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
