return my video game
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
