The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
is wine microwaveable?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
