Im at strip club and am horny
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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