Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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