Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
