just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
