I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
