I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
