Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
