she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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