I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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