her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
