my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
