Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
