You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
