We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
