party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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