proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
