yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
