Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
