at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
