I need help removing her.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
