i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
