I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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