Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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