She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i need some magic done to my vagina
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