I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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