can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This baby is an asshole
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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