you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
