I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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