Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
