So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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