Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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