You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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