Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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