My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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