looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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