the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
