I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dicks are not precious.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
