I seem to have left my pride at pride
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
