You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
